Airplane panic attack

Panic attack in Airplane!   Image: Paramount Pictures

Whoa, been a lot of sky freakouts lately.

Last week, I mentioned a flight attendant in Dallas who started freaking out before takeoff.

The unnamed woman, who’d apparently gone off her meds, grabbed the PA mic and started yelling that the plane was going to crash. Which, you know, tends to disturb other passengers at 9 a.m.

When crew members, passengers, and FBI agents tried to subdue the flight attendant, she smiled and thanked them. No, actually that’s not true at all. She spat, kicked, and shrieked like a cornered badger. Rough day at the office.

But now there’s been another woman-freaks-out-on-a-plane incident, this time in North Dakota.

On Thursday evening, police and FBI agents were called to Hector International Airport because a passenger was ‘allegedly’ assaulting people on an Allegiant Air flight from Phoenix to Fargo.

The cops handcuffed and escorted her off the plane, took her to detox, and then arrested her for disorderly conduct a.k.a. she was goon-faced drunk. Sad, but it happens all the time, and usually by celebrities.

But what I love about this story is how this radio station, 103.5 Super X, reported the news. Click the link or check out this screen shot:

Woman assaults passenger

That’s right…their story says the police “handcuffed and escorted 45-year-old Cari Johnson of Phoenix” off the plane, then added “Her name was not released.”

Plus they posted Cari’s mugshot.

Journalism fail. As one commenter said, “I wish they would release Cari Johnson’s name. I am dying to know who it is!”

What about you…ever wanted to freak out on a plane? What stopped you? Other than, of course, the threat of a criminal record, getting beaten by a nun in Airplane!, or having your name leaked by crack reporters at 103.5 Super X radio.

— Ken Hegan

VIDEO: woman has panic attack in Airplane!

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Note: Fargo police actually released the woman’s name and mugshot to all media, but 103.5 Super X is the only news outlet that said they didn’t and released ’em anyway. Which is amusing. Also: why am I still writing here? Time for a cocktail of my own.