By Ken Hegan for MSN Travel

Ever wished you could sail a hot tub into foreign waters?

Now you can. A Dutch company is producing a hot tub that chugs like a tugboat down rivers, lakes, and fjords. Billed on their website as the “first wood-fired hot tub boat in the world!”, it’s called, of course, the HotTug.

Hot tub 1

Milky-white Dutch people not included

This ingenious ‘jacuzzi boat’ is made of wood and fitted with glass fiber reinforced polyester. It holds 2000 liters of water and the wood stove takes 2.5 hours to heat your HotTug to a spine-tingling 38 degrees Celsius. Then simply untie your moor line, pop into your tub, ease off the dock, and float down river in your hot human soup bowl.

The HotTug has a stainless steel stove and pipe, and is powered by either an electric motor or outboard engine (not included). Depending on the motor, you can ride for 2 to 8 hours. Oh, and there’s a rudder, too. So you can steer away from catcalling party boaters…if you haven’t passed out from staying too long in the hot tub.

Hot tub 2

HotTugging, check it and see. Got a fever of a 100 and 3.

What if you want a nice, dry boat ride? No problem. Drain the tub water and the HotTug transforms into a standard boat for six to eight people. So it’s your choice: enjoy a dry, chilly, public dinner party, or a hot, wet, public romantic cruise.

Hot tub 3

HotTugging … just before the guy on the left said, “Wouldn’t this be more fun if we were wet, hot, and naked?”

How much would you pay for a yacht that will boost your sexual attractiveness by at least 83.99% and (if you’re not careful) give you Hot Tub Rash, Swimmer’s Itch, Athlete’s Foot, wrinkly fingers, or accidental pregnancies?

You can rent a HotTug or buy your own. HotTugs cost between 8.950 Euros ($11,409.91 CDN) and 16,450 Euros ($20,971.28 CDN). A small price to pay, I suppose, if you’re a cackling exhibitionist millionaire who wants everyone to know when you’re having the Best Date of Your Life.

Hot tub 5

Now that he owns a HotTug, Clancy has more friends than he can count.

What do you think…will you ask for a HotTug this Christmas?

— Ken Hegan

Read all Ken’s stories here

Twitter: @KenHegan

Photos courtesy HotTug