By Ken Hegan for MSN Travel

Just found some fun travel stats.

FakecationAccording to two recent studies by and, 50% of hotel guests “dodge the bellhop so they don’t have to tip,” 25% of hotel guests never tip housecleaning, 47% of travellers believe that “misbehaving kids are the worst travel offense,” 58% of travellers “want child-free zones on airplanes” [wait, only 58%?], and 9% of the people surveyed admitted they’ve stayed in a hotel “to get away from a significant other.”

In short, a hefty portion of us want to avoid people on our holidays…and not only because they want our money.

It’s the 9% statistic that’s really got me thinking. Who books hotel rooms to avoid their spouses? And how annoying does someone need to get before you escape them by checking into a hotel?

Moreover, what would you do inside that hotel that you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing at home? Is the hotel purely for clandestine encounters? Or wait, here’s a crazy idea…would you go so far as to FAKE a business trip? And would you fake a trip just to nap by a pool in Miami without getting hassled by your husband or wife? Fakecation 2

“A fake vacation? Brilliant idea,” says my superfine girlfriend, “Just be sure to call it a Fakecation.”


Then she accused me of going on Fakecation last weekend.

I’d told her my hockey team went to play in an outdoor tournament at Apex ski resort in the mountains near Penticton, BC. But after three days of playing outdoor shinny in the bright sun, drinking an ocean of beers, and bobbing in a hot tub, my skin became so incredibly smooth and rosy, she decided the tournament was a lie and that we actually Fakecationed at some secret man-spa.

What about you? Ever been tempted to go on Fakecation? And if you have Fakecationed before, did you bribe the hotel staff to pretend they never saw you?

— Ken Hegan

Bing: How to make good hotel room coffee

P.S. In this un-retouched photo, I’m about to score a sweet goal at the secret outdoor man-spa.

Apex hockey

That’s me on the right (#24). Photo: Chris Mizzoni

Read more of Ken’s MSN travel stories here  

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