By Ken Hegan for MSN

Looking for a cute B&B near the Kennedy Space Center in Cocoa, Florida?

Why not book a room at this lovely bed and breakfast!


It’s called the Castle Alta Vista Hilltop Retreat and it’s located on a private hilltop overlooking Cape Canaveral. This relaxing retreat features a large swimming pool with fancy Roman statues, a pool slide, hot tub, sun deck, hammock deck, private river-view deck, king-sized beds, antique baby grand piano, air conditioning, cable TV, WiFi, and free parking.

Breakfast is included, you’re allowed to smoke, it’s handicap accessible, cats are welcome, plus there’s a pet macaw AND a pet African Grey Parrot. All for just $105 a night!

There are just a couple of hitches. No kids allowed and the swimming pool is clothing-optional because, well, the whole joint is a ‘naked hangout club’.

According to an Orlando TV newscast, the proprietors (Chip and Terry, below) are apparently hosting a gay nudist/sex retreat.


Chip and Terry

Guests typically come to stay for 3 nights. Day guests are more than welcome. But Chip and Terry’s neighbours aren’t impressed.

“This past month there’s been maybe over 300 cars across the street,” one neighbour said to WESH-TV news. Another neighbor — who refused to be identified — said she’s “heard men having sex.”


Granted, she said she couldn’t actually see the men having sex [and I imagine she looked pretty darn hard] but she did say she had “a problem with the noise.”

Of course, naked hangout club sex is not necessarily a crime, even in puritanical Florida. And maybe the neighbour is jealous because Chip and Terry haven’t invited her over yet.


Nice tiger chair

However, Chip and Terry could be in hot water with City Hall as they’re allegedly operating the B&B without a business license in this residential neighbourhood. Local authorities are currently investigating.

A B&B that double as a naked hangout club?

Four things come to mind:

1) This marks the first time, ever, that I’ve seen the words ‘naked’, ‘hangout’, and ‘club’ used together. It’s got a nice ring to it.

2) I can’t think of a better way [than naked in a hot tub] to watch rockets taking off from a launching pad

3) Just like Fight Club, I expect Naked Hangout Club has hard and fast rules like ‘Let someone else man the barbecue’, ‘Always make sure the slide is wet before use’, and ‘Never sit naked on a slotted wooden chair’.

4) I pity the poor sod who has to clean out the pool and hot tub filters

The (bare) bottom line: if you want to stay at a naked hangout club near the Kennedy Space Center, you should probably book it fast before it gets shut down. Meanwhile, if you’re a straight married man who’s accidentally booked a bed at the Castle Alta Vista Hilltop Retreat this week, hopefully your wife will be understanding.

Assuming you tell her about it when you get home.

— Ken Hegan

Read all Ken’s travel stories here

Twitter: @KenHegan

Photos courtesy the owners