By Ken Hegan for MSN
Afraid the world will end this summer?
I don’t blame you. Hollywood’s unleashing heaps of apocalyptic doomsday films:
– World War Z — Brad Pitt battles fast-running zombies who can climb
– This is the End — 6 actor buddies hole up in a house as the world comes to an end
– Pacific Rim — A Seattle tire salesman moonlights as a prostitute and … nah, just kidding, it’s about giant monsters rising up from the sea
[Other apocalypse films this year include After Earth, Rapture-Palooza, Warm Bodies, Elysium, The World’s End, and Ender’s Game].
Now let me ask you this. If the end of the world (EOTW) does arrive this summer, what’s your game plan? Do you know where you’ll be hiding from hordes of panicking humans?
Here’s one idea for safe haven: a California company, Vivos, is turning a Kansas cave into the world’s largest doomsday shelter & resort.
To reserve a spot in this modern day ark, you need an RV and a stack of cash. Then, come Judgement Day, simply drive your RV into the VIVOS Survival Shelter & Resort where you’ll live happily ever after underground.
The cave used to be a government storage unit. But now it’s becoming a fortress that could save your bacon. The Vivos website says this privately-funded shelter/resort will protect you from doomsday catastrophes like “pole shift, super volcano eruptions, solar flares, earthquakes, asteroids, tsunamis, nuclear attack, bio terrorism, chemical warfare and even widespread social anarchy.”
In their funky/frightful promo video, Vivos says their 2-million square feet resort will be bigger than the Empire State Building and half a mile long. It will be “carved out of limestone mountain” near Atchison, Kansas and supported by “hundreds of massive limestone pillars.” It’s expected to open in August 2014.
The cave resort will shelter over 1,200 RVs and up to 5,000 people behind nuclear blast doors. The cave will also safely preserve museum treasures, DNA, and data archives.
- underground golf
- rock climbing
- weapons training
- roller blading
- skateboard park
- a “5K marathon course”
- survival classes
- mountain biking
- swimming pool(s)
And don’t forget all the amenities! Cave dwellers will enjoy:
- climate control
- purified air
- kilometers of underground roads
- dining areas
- lounge areas
- dance floor
- wine cellar
- medical and dental clinic
- private showers
- bathrooms (yay!)
- detention centre (boo!)
- hydroponics garden
- aquaponics farm
- electric vehicle motor pool
- helipad (yay!)
Viva la Vivos!
You can buy in for $35,000. If you have a 25-foot-long RV, it’ll cost $25,000 plus a $1,500 charge (per person) for a year’s worth of provided food and toiletries. Financing is available. Here’s a detailed price list for various RV sizes and lengths. Alas, everyone must pay to stay in the fortress, even if you have a valued job like a doctor or, say, a monkey-owning pop singer.
Best of all, the RV park will be open year-round. So you can even enjoy it now before the zombies start to chase us around. And what about after the zombies start to bite and chomp? Well, Vivos’ promo video says their underground RV resort is “the ultimate vacation destination”! [I hope you like the families parked next to you because you’ll be seeing a helluva lot of them in the decades to come].
Don’t worry about class differences, though. Vivos says the resort is “not just for the privileged few” and will be “affordable” and “accessible.” Of course, that’s assuming you live near Atchison, Kansas. If you currently live above ground in Toronto or Moosejaw, it may be hard to race your RV down to Kansas before they close the shelter door. I bet doomsday traffic will be pretty hellacious.
Sure, it’s an offbeat vacation resort. But Vivos’ owner, Robert Vicino, seems to take worldwide annihilation quite seriously. His Vivos website warns that “the governments of the world have been bunkering up for decades. What do they know? Why is nobody telling you to prepare? Obviously, to avoid a mass panic. What is your plan? Will you be a victim, or a survivor? Which side of the door do you want to be on?”
All good questions. So what’s it going to be…do you want to die like a chump? Or would you prefer to vacation with 4,999 of your new best friends inside the world’s largest survival shelter & resort?
— Ken Hegan
For more info on this underground RV resort, read Vivos’ FAQ.
Read more of Ken’s travel stories here
Photos via CP Images (Brad Pitt) and Vivos