So I’m training to become the World’s Greatest Hockey Player. Read my fresh column.

 

Here’s a little teaser:

So I’m training to become the World’s Greatest Hockey Player.

It’s definitely an uphill climb since I’m not (yet) in the NHL, AHL, KHL, or juniors. Currently I play left wing for 2 beer league teams in the Duffers Hockey League division 4 and the Adult Safe Hockey League division D2 B. As you might guess, none of us are professionals although one guy is on a reality show about gold miners.

I play against guys 15 years younger and I have a separated shoulder, elbow tendonitis, and a cracked ankle. So to become the World’s Greatest Hockey Player, I’ll need to cheat and cheat hard. I’ll need the world’s best schemes, scams, illegal performance drugs, and bizarre equipment enhancements.

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